Five things the self-help world doesn’t tell you about change (but really should)

How many personal development books have you read, beautiful soul? 

And how about cooking books? Diet books? Any kind of change-your-life books in fact?

I know for me the number was well in the hundreds.

And while some stuff would stick and I’d pick up a nifty trick here or there, it wasn’t until I really started to see that yet another morning, day, week, month, year had gone by without anything much changing that I realized enough was enough – it was time to sort my mess out.

You see, it doesn’t matter whether the change you desire right now looks like a new job, new house, to start a family, to get out dating, to stop shying away from social engagements because you’ve not got anything that’ll fit right – the big outer transformations that we really seek…?

They all start with tiny shifts from the inside.

And they’re not going to happen by reading another list of “to-do”s. In fact, I’m guessing you’ve got enough of them already.

Real change, real energy, real vibrancy, real behavioral transformation to become the person you truly want to be?

It's going to take doing something different to what got you here in the first place.

You might know WHAT you want to change, but the HOW part that makes all the difference and at the same time can be the trickiest of all.

That is why I developed a blueprint for making sustainable changes that will ensure your success. I use it in my coaching business as well as my daily life and it makes the ride towards any goal so much more enjoyable:

1. Go slow. No matter how much you and your ego want fast results, the fact is that changes take time, a hell lot of it. Changing old habits can be the hardest of all as all humans are creatures of habits. So instead of pushing yourself hard and getting frustrated, the magic trick is to take baby steps, and to take them consistently.

Going slow will prevent a feeling of overwhelm and will give you confidence that you CAN do it.

2. Give yourself permission to learn and make mistakes: How often do you get angry, beat yourself up and put yourself down with not very kind words for not achieving your goals or achieving them not fast enough? If you're a results-driven and ambitious person like most of my clients, it probably happens a lot.

I used to be a champion in beating myself up. I think I perfected it almost to an art form. I did it as long as I can remember and thought it was the way to get me off my butt and take action. I simply didn't know better. Now I do and what a difference it makes!

The thing to remember is that setbacks are a normal part of the process (it is like a dance: two steps forward, one step backward), they do not indicate that you are weak (or whatever story your ego is telling you. Send your ego hiking!), all they mean is that you are human and humans learn by trial and error.

By giving yourself explicit permission to learn at your own pace and make your own mistakes, you mentally set yourself up for success because the journey becomes as important as the actual destination.

3. Take ONE step at a time and have fun. One step sounds and feels easy, so there is usually little internal resistance, ensuring a high rate of success. The more steps you try to implement at the same time, the higher the chance of getting frustrated and giving up.

Start with one simple step and practice it consciously on daily basis for at least a week. Habits are like muscles: the more you flex them the stronger they become. After a while a new habit will become second nature. It is okay if you take several weeks to solidify a new habit before moving to another one.

4. Meet yourself at where you are now: A vitally important step in ensuring your success is setting realistic goals. If you dislike the taste of plain water and hardly ever drink it, setting a goal of starting your day with 0.5 litre water AND drinking two more litres of water during the day for the next seven days is probably not only overambitious, but plainly unrealistic.

But if you set as a goal drinking a big glass of water every morning (and the rest as a “nice to have” bonus), you are likely to succeed. The more you succeed, the less resistance you will feel towards trying new steps. Success breeds success.

5. Give yourself a credit for every (even the tiniest!) victory. It's easier to implement any changes when a process is an enjoyable experience, so make it one. You work hard, so take a conscious moment at the end of every day to celebrate even the smallest victory. We rarely stand still and acknowledge what we have achieved and are always running towards the next shiny goal.

Remember that even if you have a long way to go, you are already so much further from where you used to be and you definitely want to be proud of that!

Now that you know the steps for creating lasting changes, it is time for action, lovely!

Where will you start? Hop over to the comments and let me know, I'm all ears. 

And if you are not sure where to start, then read on. 

Regardless of what health or life goals you have, moving towards your desired result starts with getting crystal clear on what and why your truly desire (very different from what is being expected from you) and what is holding you back from achieving your goals (to help you with this process, go ahead and download my free Soulful Goal Planner)

And if you feel something needs to change in your health and life, but not sure what exactly and/or how to figure it out, then click HERE to learn more about my coaching approach and how I can support you towards getting your health and life back on track.


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